Not sure that this bears repeating, but now David Beckham has come out with shock revelations. This is hot on the heels of Joost's 'Okay it was me in the holey jocks' admission and the even more scurrilous story of Andre Agassi's toupee distracting him from winning his tennis games (vanity can be such a drag. Mind you, it may have been fashionable in the 1990s, but long hair on a man these days is more commonly associated with drag).

What's Becks got up his sleeve? Well, nothing much anymore, apparently, because he has revealed his deepest, darkest secret for all the world to see.

No, he's not a woman, no matter what you may have thought with all those grooming products he endorses. And yes, that hair is apparently still all his. The tattoos aren't fake.

It's far worse.

He has asthma.

Hard to believe, I know. I mean, the man is practically a demigod, and he suffers from asthma. After all this time, turns out Becks is just one of another 300 million people beaten down by the affliction. The horror. The social stigma. The world is a changed place now.

Next thing we know, People will probably reveal that the poor man also gets flu in winter. And has been known to endure the occasional headache. Heavens forbid. Or that he is actually a member of the 6 billion strong human race.

Eish. I can't wait for ZANews on this one. Or maybe Hayibo.

Speaking of Hayibo, if ever you're feeling down and unable to make sense of, well, the sometimes crazy world of South African society, you should just log on there. Sometimes it is best just to take a bit of a laugh at the lunacy.

Beats crying about it.