Blogs

Zakumi and the President

Shine2010 — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:51:00 GMT

You've seen him, the cute 2010 mascot Zakumi. What does he have in common with our Zulu Mr. President, Jacob Zuma? Apparently, little Zakumis and little presidents of the republic are coming out of the same Chinese factory to satisfy the needs of fans all over the country, and possibly the world.

It seems the dodgy goings on of top politicians, soccer players and golfers have temporarily suspended World Cup fever. Then there is the absolutely mad story of our intelligence minister's wife and the drug mules. While it may be easy to grow despondent on such news, it is rather, as Stephen Grootes points out here, encouraging that action has been taken and continues to be taken.

Still on a very serious note, I hope all readers out there can join us at Shine 2010 in absolute outrage at the bizarre decision to suspend Togo from the African Cup of Nations tournament for two years. The 'crime' committed by the Togolese, you will remember, was being the victims of an attack on their team bus, and subsequent withdrawal from the most recent tournament.

While the Egyptians won yet again over Ghana, their triumph is somehow, unfortunately, overshadowed by the tragic event itself...and the subsequent fiasco of the unfortunate handling of the Togolese decision to withdraw.

There's been some antsy-ness with FIFA, too, as we take the final run in to the World Cup, with Kevin McCallum taking a bit of a run at the governing body. Makes for interesting reading, it does.

Yes, it's a crazy world we live in. Soon to be football crazy, though, and boy do we need an escape.

World Cup silliness prevails....

Shine2010 — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:23:00 GMT

Even as the final countdown towards the World Cup in South Africa is underway, more silliness seems to emerge from overseas. Just this morning, some oke who is in charge of Bayern Munich was whingeing on about what a big mistake it was for Sepp to send the first Tournament to Africa. The dude reckons he is staying home because of the Angola attacks. Yesssss, OK, haul out the atlas again. Or better yet, consult Wikipedia and you'll learn that Angola is NOT a province of South Africa and has a very different history.

Of course, as we have made clear in previous blogs, security is a concern. It is a concern for all South Africans, but that's something we mitigate by taking appropriate precautions, none of which include a stab-proof vest (so far as I know, anyway). But the considerable furore kicked up by the stab proof vest fiasco (can we call it Protektorvest-gate?) really does have some of us wondering if it really is necessary to dissuade fans from buying the things if they make them feel more happy and safe. It can't hurt, can it? And a lot of them can use the items back home in England, to ensure they're safe against knife crime in that nation. For our part, we'll just continue to be vigilant, exercise caution and stay out of potential trouble spots.

Of course, the whole thing could just be an elaborate prank...

Meanwhile, on the ticketing front, it seems sales haven't been quite what was expected, especially not from local fans. The good news where that is concerned is that the rather complex system which FIFA uses may well just give way to something we impulsive South Africans are more used to: going to Computicket (or some such similar outlet) paying some money and getting a ticket. Nice and easy!

Togo tragedy and the World Cup

Shine2010 — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 09:24:00 GMT

The cowardly attack on the Togolese soccer team has quite possibly only been surpassed by the callous response of CAF to the surviving members and support staff. When people who spend so much time together that they can be regarded as a family have to endure the trauma of seeing members of that family severely wounded or killed, expecting them to get on with it mere days afterwards is patently ridiculous. Disqualifying them from the tournament is rubbing salt into raw wounds; the recall by the Togolese government can only be appropriate given the trauma the team has suffered.

Anyways, that's my thoughts on that perspective.

The other incredibly pressing issue is of course, the impact that this attack has had on the willingness of tourists to come to South Africa. That Angola is far away is without question. Equally, that a lot of people see Africa as a country and not a continent cannot be denied (regardless of the fact that a billion people in 54 countries live here....an American on a train travelling from New Orleans to Washington DC, on hearing that I was from South Africa, said 'I've always wanted to see the Pyramids' - huh? A case in point).

So it seems that the response of people like Rich Mkhondo and Danny Jordaan, to quell fears, is quite appropriate. After all, Angola is not only far away, but it also has a far less stable political and social climate than South Africa does. And we have a long, long list of successfully hosted international events, from the rugby and cricket World Cups right through to the recent Confederations Cup. What is a little more perplexing is Police Commissioner Bheki Cele's assertion that British football clubs have a 'slave mentality'. First time I've heard of slaves enjoying multimillion pound annual packages and all the trappings of success, but there you are.

World Cup tickets...aaah, the touts are hard at work. At Shine 2010 we're receiving a number of 'really attractive' offers for tickets from the touts, at the expected massively inflated prices. People, apply for tickets yourselves - they are still available for at least another week and don't HAVE to cost you an arm and a leg. Don't wait until it is too late and then pay through your nose to secure tickets and enrich someone else, the only attribute of whom is to plan ahead for your own silliness!

2010: Welcome to our World Cup year!

Shine2010 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 10:04:00 GMT

That's right people - it's here and the World Cup is just about ready to rock and roll. Ke Nako - it is indeed time, the year we have all been waiting for is finally here.

Over its course, 2009 certainly proved to be a year full of ups and downs. From a Shine 2010 perspective, what we see as enormous ups include the completion of most of the stadiums, to the point that matches are being played in most already by domestic teams. What we have also seen is a consistent improvement in sentiment around the World Cup; even the most ardent of naysayers really have little option but to admit that they were wrong. The resolve of South Africans is making sure that the tournament will take place is bearing fruit; indeed the notion that the event wouldn't take place at all here, now seems as quaint and outdated as the idea that the earth is flat. It's not really nice to say 'I told you so', but..., well, Shine 2010 told you so.

As a great curtain raiser and an opportunity for five of the 6 African teams taking part in the World Cup, the African Nations gets underway this coming weekend in Angola. The missing African team? Bafana Bafana, unfortunately, which is arguably a real pity. Our boys need as much match time together if they are to make an impression...

Had a bit of a chuckle this morning reading my daily dose of The Daily Maverick, seems the publication has incensed some 'End of the World is nigh' crackpots. They have, as you will see, sent some irrefutable evidence of the end of the world to the website. That evidence consists of portly Americans wearing T-shirts, driving cars and looking at billboards which confirm their assertion that on May 21 2011, it will all be over.

Luckily for us, that's nearly a year after the 2010 FIFA World Cup Champions will hoist the golden trophy.

The Online Guide to Visiting Cape Town and other holiday season silliness

Shine2010 — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 07:21:00 GMT

I was in equal parts amused and annoyed by a letter to News24 in which a Capetonian, in rather typical Capetonian fashion, provided a handy guide to what he believes is proper tourist behaviour. Submitted, of course, under a pseudonym.

Up on this end of town, the much maligned Gauteng, we citizens don't have such a sense of exclusive ownership of our towns and cities. And yes, they do have some appeal, especially the bits just outside of Jozi, like the Cradle of Humankind and any one of number of game lodges from Krugersdorp through to Pretoria. It's kinda nice and everyone is welcome to come visit. We won't prescribe behaviour like we might do to kids, all the while committing the same peccadilloes we tell you not to.

Maybe that's why the feared and loathed Gauteng tourist is considered by many to be a much nicer and friendlier bloke than the average clique-ey Capetonian. Maybe. When 2010 tourists arrive, they'll probably notice that we don't have 'The Mooountain' but we have the hospitality.

With the silly season in full swing, a lot of us are off on holiday; I'm down in sweltering Durbs, from where I had a good look at the Moses Mabhida Stadium being put through its paces with a Kaizer Chiefs versus Mamelodi Sundowns match taking place there last Saturday afternoon. From the corner of Umgeni and Goble roads, it really is quite an impressive presence. Chiefs went down to Sundowns 2-1 in that encounter.

Of course, silly season or not, the big stage managed news event of the year end has to be the Copenhagen conference. Now, PJ O'Rourke once wrote a somewhat scathing (and hilarious) account of the newsworthiness of stage managed news 'events', when he had to cover the Reagan/Gorbachev summit along with 6000000000 other newsmen. But Copenhagen...we have all been compelled to believe that climate change is the challenge of our time. But is it really? A major scandal erupted on the eve of the Copenhagen conference confirming that much of the science to justify climate change was fudged. The people involved simply made up data to support their position.

Now, while I have made clear that I believe responsible use of resources is critical, that doesn't mean we should be bamboozled by pseudoscience and lies to suit a parallel agenda. I'd recommend reading Ivo Vegter's extremely well-argued columns on The Daily Maverick to get a broad understanding of the issues and what is now emerging as the scandal of the century.

And notice that the politicians are ignoring the now growing pile of contrary evidence...

Opportunity knocks...it doesn’t tear the door down!

Shine2010 — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:08:00 GMT

One of my colleagues mentioned to me the other day that there are so many people who seem to have a somewhat vague idea that there may just be some sort of opportunity around the now very imminent World Cup football tournament. But they just can't quite put their fingers on it...so they instead complain about the lack of obvious prospects.

Um, people, like my headline says, opportunity KNOCKS, it doesn't come beating down the door and begging you to 'be the lucky one'. Remember, if business was easy, we'd all be a raging success and driving vulgar cars. If you'll permit me an aphorism, 'Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any unlucky man.'

The point is that identifying an opportunity and making it work isn't easy. It takes courage, the sort that not everyone has, if you are going to identify a gap, add value and as a consequence, laugh all the way to the bank. Clint Eastwood once remarked something along the lines of 'People engineer their own doom; we are as afraid of success as we are of failure'. I reckon that means people are scared of trying sometimes... It comes down to you; the universe is funny like that, it doesn't provide unless you make it provide.

So, making your business fly really comes down to what you're prepared to do; no amount of complaining is likely to get it anywhere.

But British Airways is giving a helping hand in making business fly by dishing out a whole whack of international air tickets so your small business can connect with the world.

It's a clever campaign since its research indicates that 89% of businesspeople say they believe that face-to-face meetings are essential to 'sealing the deal' (People buy from people...being in front of them works.)

With its campaign, British Airways South Africa is giving 50 SMBs 10 international business class air tickets each, totally 500 international air tickets to promote the expansion of local businesses. You can check it out and apply www.ba.com/safrica-grants

We think that's pretty cool. If you're keen on getting some international business going, around the World Cup or otherwise, there's no better time to give it a go than right now.

Oh, and what's that sound? Could it be a knock at the door? Remember to open it, could be opportunity gently knocking and wondering if anyone will answer.

Pitted against the best? Good..!

Shine2010 — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:10:00 GMT

Should South Africa be concerned that we've gotten a 'nightmare draw' to kick off the FIFA World Cup?

Naaaah, I don't think so. Let's face it, the World Cup is supposed to be a showcase of all the very best football talent on the planet. So we got an entry into the tournament for the first time ever as the hosts, no matter. Apply the 'we'll take what we can get' approach, and also let's bear in mind the Saffer propensity to perform when it is least expected, and there is a chance that we will see the sort of fireworks that will build some national pride.

The draw in Cape Town went down a treat; it was heartening to see the pictures of the estimated 50 000 revellers packing Long Street for a good and proper jol. More heartening, perhaps, was the fact that very little in the way of 'incidents' was recorded. No major crimes, in fact, very few crimes at all. That bodes exceptionally well for the capability of the police to maintain law and order when the tournament kicks off with Mexico against our own in Soccer City in under 200 days. And, of course, throughout the rest of the tournament.

We've already had a taste of the star power which comes with the World Cup, courtesy of the draw. Among the top celebs seen around the country were the asthmatic David Beckham, doing his bit and voicing his support for the Good Ship South Africa (thanks Becks, we're breathing easy, don't worry) and of course one of our top exports, Charlise Theron. It's going to get a lot more starry out these parts very soon!

Speaking of stars and what they can tell us. Given that the gods of sport rarely smile down on all (South Africa's at least) teams at the same time, could there be something in it, star cross'd if you will (like those lovers in Romeo and Juliet) that our rugger and cricket teams are sucking? So recently on top of the world, they are battling magnificently to achieve any results. Maybe the pendulum is swinging to favour the struggling Bafana? The timing would be rather nice, now wouldn't it.

On that note: a quick search on the Interpipes reveals that there are many, many gods of sport. The Greek one of victory is probably the most well known. Even if you don't know who it is, you do.

It's Nike.

See here for a fuller list of deities to which you can appeal for a great Bafana performance....

FIFA Draw coincides with Silly Season

Shine2010 — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 07:16:00 GMT

Around rolls 1 December and it seems all of South Africa is ready for at least two things: the holidays and the FIFA World Cup draw taking place in Cape Town this coming Friday. It's really happening, the rich and the famous from the soccer playing dynasties around the world are jetting into the country to determine who will play who in the determining phases of the competition. The excitement is building!

A mate of mine remarked the other day that as the Tournament really starts reaching the final preparatory phases, he wants to get one of those giant waving hands with the number 86 on it. For our team, you know, the real underdog of the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Hey, there is still time for the mellowing Benni to shed a couple of pounds. Check him here on the polygraph. Warning: some profanity and a lot of hilarity.

Cape Town is, of course, really close to one of our most famous - and previously notorious - landmarks, Robben Island. The FIFA bods out for the draw are taking the opportunity to pay the prison a visit, along with South African luminaries...who share tales of football under the fist of the oppressor in years gone by. JZ the goalie and later the referee? Seems like sport was imitating later life.

If anyone ever wondered if ZA was up to the task of getting the infrastructure in place to host the World Cup, those doubters must surely now be staring down a serving of humble pie. The stadiums are very nearly complete, with estimates putting them all at '95%' complete. Moses Mabhida in Durbs, the second to open after Port Elizabeth, put away the perception that coastal folk spend their days on the beach; the other four venues are due to open before February. That's in good time before the games begin. Even the seemingly endless work on the highways, with which city folk have kind of gotten used to, looks to be getting closer to completion.

It is nigh, the World Cup. But before we get there, most of us can just sit back and enjoy some of this Silly Season, after what has for many been a long and arduous year. A pinch and a punch for the first of the month, as they say!

Cough Cough....Football will never be the same again

Shine2010 — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:12:00 GMT

Not sure that this bears repeating, but now David Beckham has come out with shock revelations. This is hot on the heels of Joost's 'Okay it was me in the holey jocks' admission and the even more scurrilous story of Andre Agassi's toupee distracting him from winning his tennis games (vanity can be such a drag. Mind you, it may have been fashionable in the 1990s, but long hair on a man these days is more commonly associated with drag).

What's Becks got up his sleeve? Well, nothing much anymore, apparently, because he has revealed his deepest, darkest secret for all the world to see.

No, he's not a woman, no matter what you may have thought with all those grooming products he endorses. And yes, that hair is apparently still all his. The tattoos aren't fake.

It's far worse.

He has asthma.

Hard to believe, I know. I mean, the man is practically a demigod, and he suffers from asthma. After all this time, turns out Becks is just one of another 300 million people beaten down by the affliction. The horror. The social stigma. The world is a changed place now.

Next thing we know, People will probably reveal that the poor man also gets flu in winter. And has been known to endure the occasional headache. Heavens forbid. Or that he is actually a member of the 6 billion strong human race.

Eish. I can't wait for ZANews on this one. Or maybe Hayibo.

Speaking of Hayibo, if ever you're feeling down and unable to make sense of, well, the sometimes crazy world of South African society, you should just log on there. Sometimes it is best just to take a bit of a laugh at the lunacy.

Beats crying about it.

Winter warmers

Shine2010 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:35:00 GMT

Just as Joburg slides bizarrely back into winter, I engineered an escape to the mother city. It's all sunshine and happiness down here, people, except for the sunshine bit. See, the weather was so horrible upcountry that none of the inbound flights could land. And that meant they couldn't get tidied up and sent back to the sea, either. And THAT meant sitting around in the airport having a good old chinwag with anyone who might be inclined to listen.

That South African tendency to accept that which you cannot change, without complaint or issue, came right out to the fore. Delays were substantial, but hey, the 400-odd of us crammed into the small but exceedingly generous departure lounge at Lanseria International, were cheerful and cooperative. Raaather nice.

So, now, has anyone else noticed something funny in the air? You remember how a few years back, we were all browbeaten by the media into believing that the planet was lowly heating up, greenhouse gases were surely frying the world? That global warming was a major problem?

C'mon, admit it, we all believed that. Well, nearly all. Over at The Daily Maverick, legendary smartypants Ivo Vegter never was one to fall for all that, ahem, hot air. He has consistently looked to the facts to debunk any sort of silliness, global warming included. Even if such debunking makes him as popular as a pig in Palestine.

You'll admit that what we're getting in Jozi sure isn't global warming. Actually, we tend to prefer our Novembers a little warmer, thank you very much.

You will also notice that the term 'global warming' is something of an anachronism. You just don't hear it that much any more. No, what we refer to it now is 'climate change'. Why? Because the planet is not actually getting warmer. The last 'hot' year was back in 1998.

Now that could be an inconvenient truth.

I strongly advise reading all of Ivo's columns. That's a great example of critical thinking.

Let's be clear here, though. Like Mr. Vegter, I firmly believe in living as cleanly as possible. Don't litter, no need to drive a five point oh, no need to emit pollution and rubbish into the air unnecessarily. And that includes the hot air of inaccurate information, too. Read that link, it is very, very interesting.

Thanks Ras Dumisani!

Shine2010 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:01:00 GMT

Yes, you read right. Ras Dumisani has done more to unite the nation in a fractious time than the Springboks, the Proteas and Bafana Bafana have done. He achieved this unlikely feat by 'singing' the national anthem off-key and fumbling through the words.

While many are utterly outraged, there is definitely a benefit here. On news websites from the Mail & Guardian to The Times and News24, former adversaries in the comments sections have come together to castigate the unfortunate Ras as one. The shocker even prompted the Young Communist League into releasing what is arguably its most coherent and sensible statement ever. For once, we all agree.

So, let's all look through the red mist of rage and remember that this poor feller has got his due. Everyone knows what a bad singer he is, so no need to bay for the man's blood. So whaddaya say, let's just build a bridge and get over it.

Anyway, on to the soccer field. It seems Ras the rastaman is even giving our footie captain, Aaron Mokoena, something to worry about. Unless I misinterpreted the headline of this story. Apparently El Capitan is wary of the 'Reggae Boyz' from Jamaica. Perhaps he is concerned that they might break out into another inspired rendition of the anthem to take the edge off the team.

Hey and you may have noticed, the return of Carlos Alberto Parreira has got a bit of hope back into the team, too. Some wit on Twitter pointed out that this last weekend, everyone got the shock of their lives when the soccer team was the pick of the litter, outplaying the Springboks and the Proteas. OK, so it was a draw against Japan, but Bafana Bafana was still the only team of the three not Tolouse.

Watch the video of Ras Dumisani singing the South African Nation Anthem here

Maverick Benni back in the fold!

Shine2010 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:30:00 GMT

Found it a little amusing I did, seeing a story under The Daily Maverick all about Benni McCarthy, arguably our most maverick football player. With Benni showing some rare contrition (and, reportedly, reaching the substantially more sage age of 31) and with the triumphant...we hope...return of Carlos Alberto, maybe, just maybe our team has more than the proverbial snowball's hope in the hot sulphurous place. For, you know, doing something special at the World Cup, now just a few months away.

If inspiration can be worn, there's a new jersey out for the national team (um, it does look quite a bit like the old one). And South Africa has a new logo for marketing, too, replacing what was apparently a mishmash of some 70 variations of logos previously used. Any corporate marketing boffin will tell you that the latter scenario is a definite no-no!

While cruising around the Interpipes, I came across a really cool initiative that I reckon deserves some praise. It's a football boot camp, combining some life skills training with the Beautiful Game, and put on by Reckitt Benckiser, you know, the okes that make Dettol and other home cleaning products. Through Shona Khona, 4000 youngsters get to have a ton of fun. And 12 of them are even heading to Brazil.

Big ups Shona Khona and Reckitt; love your work.

Never a dull moment

Shine2010 — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 07:31:00 GMT

2010 approaches apace and with it South Africa seems to be one of the most exciting places on Earth. Every time I am away for a couple of days, it astounds me how much the country can change. Last week I was in rural KwaZulu-Natal, on the scene of the historic Battle of Spionkop (read that hyperlink, it is very interesting), out of the office for a mere two days...not counting the weekend.

In that time, all hell broke loose at Eskom, Leonard Chuene seems to be getting his comeuppance, those in charge of the police are reportedly engaged in a serious spat, Trevor Manuel's position of influence has apparently come under fire. And Jackie Selebi slips inexorably into what appears to be an inextricable situation. Shew.

The political climate in the country appears to be taking a turn for the...how does one put this...substantially more interesting. There is a lot of wrangling and behind the scenes dogfighting going on. All of which may seem somewhat disconcerting, but it provides endless fodder for the absolutely hilarious ZAnews. Watch it now if you haven't already.

Speaking of which, some weeks back I asked Helen Zille, via Twitter, what she thought of ZANews. I didn't get a reply. Unfortunately.

More on the political climate with some news which is just in. Apparently government is looking to take a hard line on bloggers critical of the South African situation. Now, while here at Shine 2010 we throw our support behind our country, we have to stress that we cannot support such action. While we obviously see the efforts of people like Albert Oosthuizen in a poor light, freedom of thought and speech is a constitutional right...so long as it isn't hate speech. I'd go out on a limb here and say that perhaps government should look at clamping down on certain members of the various Youth Leagues of the country, which seem to be engaged in some sort of silly competition to see who can make the most ridiculously inflammatory and outrageous statements....

SA is more than a 2010 destination

Shine2010 — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:33:00 GMT

I know a couple of things about going on holiday in South Africa. One of them is that we have some of the most gob-smackingly lekker terrain, from Karoo to coast and the forests of the Eastern Cape and Knysna and KwaZulu Natal in between. But more than that, our hospitality and just plain good value combine to make South Africa a great destination for overseas visitors.

So, when I came across this report from Lonely Planet and via GoTravel, it came as little surprise that South Africa was rated as a 'best value' destination. Very naaaice, I tell you.

While we are, as you know, in the business of putting a shine on the good stuff that we have in our country, and there is a good deal of that, there also comes a time where common sense has to prevail. By that I mean this rather astounding article, in which the author attempts to make a case for the advantages we are likely to gain as a result of the over 300% increases in energy proposed by Eskom.

Now, while the author's intentions are no doubt noble, it is very, very hard to follow the logic of how higher cost electricity is good for us. I met with a man recently who deals with assessing risk for large businesses. Those in mining and beneficiation depend rather heavily on electricity...the increases pose such a risk that many operations, which are marginally profitable as we stand now, see the energy increases as a massive threat to their very survival.

Mining may make up only 3% of the country's economy, but it sure does employ a lot of people. And it is not alone in its consumption of energy as a necessity for production.

On top of that, let's also remember that Eskom is building massive new coal-fired power stations to meet increased demand and to continue lighting up neighbouring countries; this despite the fact that the parastatal also has 'mothballed' existing power stations, built in a time when people planned well into the future. Commissioning these facilities will not result in any discernable benefit to the environment. Rather, the opposite effect is likely.

Thing is, we may have to accept higher electricity prices as an inevitability. But let's not fool ourselves with spurious justifications, either. The answer to the problems we face as a nation will not come from ignoring them or explaining them away with blind optimism, but rather by confronting and critically analysing them.

2010 preparations for Bafana Bafana inspire much mirth

Shine2010 — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:47:00 GMT

We made mention some time ago about the fact that South Africa is a great holiday destination for Brazilian grandpas. As we well know, us South Africans are prone to dealing with what we see as the absurd with our sense of humour, which I think can be described as ironic, deprecating and typically, very funny. Take this purported exchange gathered from the Interpipes, a fictional (but possibly highly likely) exchange between our old coach, new coach, and old new coach who is now the new new coach (apologies to www.mg.co.za/zanews the inspiration for that bit of verbiage):

Parreira: Joel, stop sitting around and starving in Brazil, there's a place in Africa with plenty of moola and the football association is a bunch of people who will pay you whatever you want and believe whatever you say.

Santana: How much are we talking about?

Parreira: Around R1.5 mil a month....

Santana: You lie....get out of here! I thought Africa was a third world continent?

Parreira: Yep that's what I thought too, but hey, these guys are crazy. And they think they are rich.

Santana: You're getting me excited now, but how will I get my hands on this dough?

Parreira: mmmmm..... How well do you know soccer, cousin? Because, I was thinking you can come take my place as a coach of their national team, I miss home and I've had my share already...

Santana: Er, soccer? I watch it every now and then.

Parreira: Ahhhh, that should do. We can even say you've coached a small local team before...and I'll recommend you, too.

Santana: But we are talking about a national team here, not just any local team!?

Parreira: Don't worry, leave all that to me...

Santana: But don't you have a contract with them already?

Parreira: So what? I can always say my wife is sick and needs my support.

Santana: Fair enough. Oh one last thing.... I just met this woman and I really like her, I just can't leave her.

Parreira: Can she speak English?

Santana: She watches Santa Barbara and she said to me this morning 'happy morning'...

Parreira: Perfect! She can go to SA with you. We'll say she's your interpreter so she can also earn some money from SAFA.

Santana: You're kidding me... will they fall for it?

Parreira: It won't be a problem...

Santana: What if I want to come back home before my contract expires?

Parreira: Don't worry you will not stay there for long, no one ever does. The team loses all the time and the public blames the coach...

Santana: Hahahahaha... let me go do my visa and passport right away.

You've got to admit, that's pretty amusing. Anyway, we now see that Carlos is whisking the team away from the place where 2010 will be played (here, of course) to Brazil for 'training camps'. Maybe his wife is still ill and he wants to kill two birds with one stone. Who knows? One thing is for sure, the preparations for the team are getting weirder by the day. Let's just hope that some concentrated effort this late in the game delivers some sort of performance from the team which goes beyond inspiration for good jokes.